Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My Personality Profile: Extraversion

Introduction to Extraversion

Some days you want to hang out by yourself, not answer the phone, and make the world go away. The next day you e-mail everyone, schedule lunch with a friend, and try to find an evening gathering to take part in. It may be the phases of the moon, or something you ate; some days are just like that. In actuality, your desire to be with others or to be alone reflects something deep in your personality. Some of us are more comfortable by ourselves or with one or two friends, while others of us crave the crowd and can't stand it when the house is empty or the phone doesn't ring. The following paragraphs describe your fundamental desires about being with other people; whether you are generally an outgoing person or more reserved, if you seek adventures with others, if you tend toward assertiveness or kindness.

When it comes to Extraversion you are:

Words that describe you:
  • Friendly
  • Gregarious
  • Full of Life
  • Unreserved
  • Kindhearted
  • Talkative
  • Emotional
  • Spontaneous
  • Vigorous

    A General Description of How You Interact with Others

    People light you up. In conversations, planning meetings or almost any social situation, you bring your energy and your friendly, outgoing personality into these engagements with other people, and you come away pumped up. You can hardly wait for the next event, as long as other people will be there. And you're good at it.  You know how to communicate. You listen well, the first rule of good communication, and then, when it's your turn, you talk vigorously and with animation; in your uninhibited way you give all that you've got to the encounter.  In situations where you feel very safe, when you know and trust the people you're with, you can be very kindhearted and unrestrained. You let your affection for and pleasure in being with others flow freely. You're wide open And when you get back this same kind of unrestrained warmth, you are deeply satisfied. Because you are so friendly and full of life, these are among your favorite moments.

    Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

    As much as you like being with other people, not everyone will like being with you. Hard to believe, but your gregarious and warm manner is not everyone's cup of tea. Some people are more cautious than you in personal encounters; others think the work place should be more formal, more impersonal than is comfortable for you. Still others, who may want more of the spotlight, will find you too much to compete with once you get your lively and outgoing self in motion.  Here's another word of caution. You've been at this warm and open way of relating for a while, but for some people it's a brand new experience. They may be protecting something inside themselves, some fear or guilt or shame, or some private part of their story that they're not yet ready to share. Your openness might threaten them, and they'll take a step back and be reluctant the next time to engage you in the kind of exchange you find so easy and satisfying but they find so dangerous.

    Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

    Many people, most probably, will be glad to be in the room you're in. At work you make the environment livelier and the banter more interesting, so the time moves swiftly and the experience is a happier one. At home you keep everyone connected because you engage each of them in the conversational action, and as a result they are more connected as well with one another. You make home a warmer and more interesting place for everyone who lives there.  You might also be helpful to some people. There are those who need to talk but aren't very good at it. They don't know how to begin the kind of conversation that would allow them to share whatever is in their personal stories that they'd like or need to talk about. You could make that easier for them with your way with words. Some people just need an example and a little encouragement to come out of their shell and get into the greater fun and personal connectedness that will make their lives so much more satisfying. Again, you might be just the right person to make that happen for them.  So almost everyone will be glad to be with you, you make life more interesting for those you live and work with, and you could help some of your friends who need just a little encouragement to open up and find in themselves the kinds of energetic and warm connections that you thrive on. Not that you are a pushover; in fact, you are often quite assertive. In taking care of yourself you also make sure that others are engaged and energized.

    My Personality Profile: Conscientiousness

    Introduction to Conscientiousness

    It's a work day, breakfast is over, and you're dressed and ready. So how will you approach the tasks at hand? Some people work best with a clear schedule, a set of priorities and a due date for every step in the process. Others are, shall we say, less regimented. They approach a task with as much imagination as organization, and with a willingness to bend and modify in order to exercise some urge of creativity.  How about you? Do you walk in a straight line toward a clear goal, or are you more likely to dance your way down whatever path will get you wherever it is you're headed? The following paragraphs describe ways in which you approach the tasks life brings to you, and to what extent you are focused or flexible in how you choose to proceed.

    Your approach toward your obligations is:

    Words that describe you:
    • Spontaneous
    • Intuitive
    • Perceptive
    • Natural
    • Somewhat Disorganized
    • Unpredictable At Times

      A General Description of How You Interact with Others

      When there's a job to be done, like most people you want to know what the goal is and when it's to be completed. For you, that's a start. Next you want to know what the plan is to get to the goal. So you lay out a plan, or at least the major points of a plan: "Organize the kitchen sometime this spring" or "Get the project at work done as soon as possible." You don't need an in-depth specification of every little detail; in fact you prefer not to work that way. You lay out your goals, develop a general plan, and then you get things done.  You believe in intuition as well as organization. As such, you trust impulses as much as strategies and you value spontaneity as much as you do efficiency. In a word, you like to keep it flexible. When you set out to accomplish a task, you prefer to have some room to maneuver. Like an artist, you find that the best way to reach a goal is not always in a straight line. Some of the most productive times for you are the unplanned moments of inspiration and creativity that just come to you. While you do keep to a general plan, those times of pure vision and originality are what really drive you.  Some of the people who rely completely on an organized approach to getting things done may be surprised at your efficiency. But there is a definite method to your approach. With a creative flair that others may not have anticipated, the original plan gets met and there are often a few extra accomplishments along the way. Your comfort zone starts with a task and a plan but it also requires the freedom to be able to go with your instincts and impulses so that you can not just accomplish the task, you also have the option to explore something brand new along the way.

      Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

      People may have problems with your style for two reasons. First, you don't always follow the rules or go along with detailed plans, whether at work or at home. Those who need the details to stay on task just don't quite understand how you are going to get it all done. Second, while you get things done - the way you veer off course at times and use your creativity may leave others wondering what went on. Some people find all this creativity and thinking "out-of-the-box" at odds with their desire to follow a clear course. And this causes not only some confusion it may also spark some anger toward you at times. Even you would likely admit that living and working with you takes someone who is able to let you do your thing at times. If someone is really tied to a rigid approach to how things should get done, there is clearly the potential for some conflict with you. Every workplace and home does need a modicum of reliability and a decent amount or order and organization if it is to accommodate the mix of people who work or live there. That leads to a serious question for you: Are there times when your creative, though at times unpredictable, style keeps others off balance? Are there some plans that should be sacred, some space always well organized, some charts left as designed? Are there are some things you could change that would allow those who live and work with you to feel more in control; changes that wouldn't impinge on your creative processes? If others are finding your style to be difficult to deal with you may want to consider how you can all work together most efficiently.

      Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

      The truth is that your work style gets things done, often with more beauty, fun, creativity and imagination than others could ever manage. But your style is very unique to you. Flexibility is essential to your style. With your creativity and flexibility the path you take to any goal can make everyone's accomplishments more inventive and enjoyable. Bringing some extra enjoyment to people's work can be a real asset; one you may want to use more consciously.  Deep down inside there's also another truth you should consider. A lot of people wish they had some of whatever it is that you've got. They get so bogged down reading the committee notes or checking the project calendar that they seldom just cut loose and let their impulses run. They neglect their intuition to the point that it barely whispers - that is, until you come along with yours shouting out loud and remind everyone in the room that there's something to listen to besides the original plan and the orderly, organized path laid out to get there. So not only do you enhance the accomplishments of the group, you also enhance the lives of each member willing to find in themselves the spontaneity that is your trademark personal characteristic.

      My Personality Profile : Emotional Stability

      Introduction to Emotional Stability

      We're born with the capacity to feel deeply, so it's as natural as breathing to experience a range of emotions. Fear and joy and sadness, anger and shame and disgust lie somewhere within each of us. Ah, but to what extent do we control these emotions, and to what extent do they control us? How you answer this question of how your emotions play out in your life has a great deal to do with your levels of personal satisfaction and with the character of your relationships with others. Do you manage your emotions well, keeping them in check with your thinking and your willpower, or are you someone who lets emotions have their way, giving in to the wild dance of feelings? The following paragraphs describe your emotional range in terms of being a person who is emotionally steady or someone who is responsive to whatever feelings swell up in you.

      On Emotional Stability you are:

      Words that describe you:
      • Adaptable
      • Engaged
      • Able to Cope
      • Passionate
      • Perceptive
      • Flexible
      • Receptive
      • Aware
      • Avid

        A General Description of Your Reactivity

        In some ways, you've got the best of emotional worlds. When emotions rise up from inside you or are brought forth from a conversation by a friend, you know how to engage them. You deal with sadness, fear, joy, anger - whatever comes up - in ways that are perceptive and flexible. You can adapt to whatever level of emotion is appropriate to the moment. At other times, you are able to cope with your emotions in a more reserved manner. Because you are aware of what does and does not make emotional sense in a particular situation, you will decide when it is an appropriate time to express your emotions and when it would be best to keep them to yourself. All of this gives you a rich emotional life. You are free to express your passions about certain subjects with appropriate people. But you are also emotionally adaptable; if the conversation needs to be more cerebral, you'll keep it "in your head" and talk calmly through whatever issue is on the table. This emotional awareness serves you well. You seldom get in over your head, either by opening up to the wrong person or by triggering in someone else's emotions they may not be able to deal with.

        Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

        When it comes to dealing with emotions we all meet some people with whom we don't match well. You bring a balanced approach to your emotional life. As such, those who are at the extremes are most likely to have a negative reaction to you. Those who live in their emotions may feel you tend to "live in your head" while those who go through life as an emotional rock may feel that you are a bit too "touchy feely" for their approach. And of course it is always possible that because you do balance your emotional approach to life you may misread others - we all do at times. So there have undoubtedly been those times when you have misread cues and stayed in your head with someone who hoped for a more open emotional approach or you may have opened up emotionally with someone who keeps their emotions bottled up. But these things happen and since you do have a good balance of being in touch with your emotions and not being overly impacted by emotional swings, you undoubtedly are able to adapt. Another potential problem is that as people get to know you well, they will discover that you have a great balance between emotional expression and emotional control. If they don't have this balance they may wind up envying you. They can't express feelings as well as you, or they are too often out of emotional control and resent you for your ability to cope so well with the very emotions that may trip them up.

        Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

        Many people will be grateful to find a friend like you who can stay in control when emotions verge on chaos, but who can also go into the tangle of emotions when it is safe and appropriate to do so. Because of your ability to engage them at whatever level they are comfortable, to adapt to whatever changes in emotion emerge in the conversation, and to cope so well with all of it - well, they'll be very glad they found a person like you. You may, in fact, wind up as something of an emotional mentor. Your awareness of the emotional temperature of a situation, your ability to adapt to either heat or cold, and your ability to cope with whatever winds up happening in the conversation could be models for them to follow as they come to terms with their own emotional worlds.

        My Personality Profile : Openness

        Introduction to Openness

        How firmly committed are you to the ideas and beliefs that govern your thinking and guide your behavior? Some people trust their current ideas and beliefs the way a climber trusts the mountain; whichever way they move, whether the climb is on a familiar trail or over new ground, there is something solid beneath them, something they count on.  For others, new ideas, new solutions to old problems, new beliefs that replace tired convictions are like welcome wind in their sails. They can hardly wait to tack in a new direction and ride a new idea through uncharted waters. If it's new, it's interesting, and they're ready to explore.  The following paragraphs describe your responses to new ways of thinking and believing. How do you handle new information? Are you more like the climber on a familiar mountain or a sailor with a tiller in hand and a fresh breeze to propel you? How you integrate and process new information about the world and about others is a core aspect of your personality.

        On the Openness Dimension you are:

        Words that describe you:
        • Original
        • Inventive
        • Thinker
        • Brave
        • Eccentric
        • Avant-Garde
        • Out-of-Touch
        • Unique

        A General Description of How You Approach New Information and Experiences

        You think like an artist. Or better, you SEE like an artist. While most people look at life's straight lines, its height and depth and width, you're bending the lines with your imagination and turning black and white into shades of blue and yellow. And in conversations at work or with your friends you want to ask, "Do you see what I see?" A few might, most don't, but you've piqued everyone's curiosity with your own original and inventive ways of thinking.  You can, if you must, think in conventional ways. But left on your own, you'll usually opt for the eccentric or avant-garde; in fact you're usually bored with what everyone else is comfortable with. You learn from reading, talking, watching people and other fauna and flora, and simply sitting in the soft chair of your mind and wondering how people would learn how to count if they could only use uneven numbers. You are out in front of conventional ideas, bravely originally defining true and false, right and wrong, the good, the bad and the ugly.

        Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward Your Style of Thinking

        You drive through life faster than the speed limit, and when you hit speed bumps, and you hit a lot of them with your mind distracted from the straight line ahead your wheels leave the ground.  For people who like life at a safer speed, you move too fast and lose touch too often with the solid ground they prefer, hence their discomfort with you. As odd as you might find this, many people feel safe in the shelter of the world they already know. They like the familiar. They breathe easily and sleep deeply knowing with more certainty how the world works. So although they might enjoy your company and be curious about your latest notion of how to count backwards by threes, they can only take you in small doses. And they wish you'd quit trying to push the boundaries of their personal and social cosmos.

        Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

        Even those whom you make uncomfortable know, as just about everyone does, that you're not a flake. You think well, and even your wildest fancies have their roots in the deep soil of sound ideas and tested beliefs. So even if some people don't want to drive at high speed with you, they will respect you for your courage as an innovative and unconventional thinker. You lend color and imagination to what would otherwise be the straight black and white lines of their work world and social environments.  A few more daring people of your circle might even learn from you to take a risk they would otherwise never consider. As comfortable as they are on solid ground, they may be curious about what it would be like to go faster than the speed limit, or paint the living room two shades of blue, or question ideas or beliefs they've fingered like sacred beads since they were children.  After all, they watch you do it, and you seem no worse for the risks you take. In fact, your eyes are wider and your breath quicker, and maybe they can find at least a bit of this for themselves. To be certain, they don't want their wheels to leave the ground, but maybe the next time they approach a speed bump they might just brace themselves and speed up just a little bit.

        My Personality Profile :Agreeableness

        Introduction to Agreeableness

        This section of your profile describes your interactions with other people. The ways we communicate our feelings, beliefs and ideas to others are influenced by our cultural backgrounds, the way we were raised, and sometimes which side of the bed we got up on this morning. Some of us are very mindful of others making decisions we hope will be in their best interests, even if it means sometimes neglecting our own interests. Others of us believe each person should be responsible for themselves, taking deep pride in our own character and independence with a firm belief that others are best served by doing the same. The following describes how you engage with others; illustrating the dimension of your personality that determines your independence or your desire to reach out and touch others in meaningful ways.

        You are best described as:

        Words that describe you:
        • Fair
        • Considered
        • Collaborative
        • Responsive
        • Sensible
        • Diplomatic
        • Contemplative
        • Indulgent
        • Rational

          A General Description of How You Interact with Others

          You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it's best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able. You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don't take good care of yourself, you'll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion. You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself. When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty.  You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you'll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that's fair for the other person and also fair to you. It's frequently a win/win situation.

          Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You

          For people who are ruled by tender-hearted compassion, your more diplomatic response to problems might seem too cool, too focused on fairness and not filled enough with sympathy and selflessness.  For them, when someone's life is on fire, what is needed is not collaboration but rescue. And the person who experiences their life on fire may resent the time you take to contemplate. "I need you, and I need you NOW! This isn't about fairness, it's about the fire." "All deliberate speed" may seem too deliberate and not fast enough, either to the more compassionate or to people in genuine trouble.  At the other end of the spectrum of compassion, those who believe people should take care of themselves may find even your thoughtful sympathies too soft. They expect people, themselves included, to work their own way out of trouble. They are convinced that the helping hand you lend just fosters dependence and is not good for the development of character, either in you or in the person you assist.

          Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You

          Many people, perhaps the majority, will come to appreciate your balance as a compassionate person. The more they get to know you, the more they will admire your thoughtful compassion for others and its compliment in the sensible ways you take good care of yourself.  Those whom you help will appreciate the way you leave them with their dignity by expecting them to collaborate in their own rescue. Those who are more tender-hearted will find in you a balance they lack; when they've run out of energy because they fail to take good care of themselves, you will still have enough compassion left to lift others out of trouble.  Even the tough-hearted, those who believe people should solve their own problems, might come to admire your tenderness which they don't find in themselves. So the people you help will be grateful, and the people who see your balance between self and others will admire you. Certainly, balanced is not bad at all as a way to be known among your friends.

          Saturday, May 10, 2008

          “I Asked God” - author unknown (at least to me)

          I asked God to take away my habit.
          God said, “No”.“
          "It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.”

          I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
          God said “No”.
          “His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary”

          I asked God to grant me patience.
          God said, “No”.
          “Patience is a byproduct of tribulations: It isn’t granted, it is learned”

          I asked God to give me happiness.
          God said, “No”.
          “I give you blessings: Happiness is up to you.”

          I asked God to spare me pain.
          God said, “No”.
          “Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me.”

          I asked God to make my spirit grow.
          God said, “No”.
          “You must grow on your own. But I will prune you to make you faithful”

          I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
          God said, “No”.
          “I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things”.

          I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
          God said…”Ahhh, finally you have the idea.”

          Saturday, April 14, 2007

          Revised Definition

          Redefining “Love at first sight” in the internet era

          Here’s the definition from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, about “Love at first sight“ :

          “Love at first sight is when a person feels romantic passion for a complete stranger upon his or her initial encounter with the stranger. The term can be used casually to refer to a mere sexual attraction or crush, but it usually refers to actually falling in love with someone literally the very first time one sees him or her, along with the deep desire to have an intimate relationship with that person. The stranger may or may not be aware that the other person has any such notion, and may not even be aware of the other person's presence (such as in a crowded place). Sometimes two people experience this phenomenon towards each other at the same time, usually when their eyes meet. See also love.”

          So- with fewer words:
          Love at first sight is the romantic passion for a complete stranger upon his or her initial encounter with the stranger. Falling in love the very first time one sees him or her.

          Initial encounter –in this day and age of communication and internet – initial encounter is rarely in person and it’s done trough emails, instant and text messages, posting blogs and profiles on My Space, sharing pictures.

          Not that we wouldn't prefer to meet someone in person but we're too busy and we run in the same circle all day. Circle of friends, coworkers, relatives or schoolmates. If we exhausted those circles of posibillities and the special someone is not in sight what alternatives we have?

          Go outside of the above mentioned circles. Go to gym, library, mall, shopping, club, bar or dance club. What's the chance you will meet your ideal partner in any of those places. Let's face it, if we're single - we go to clubs to hook up - we don't expect to marry someone who we meet there. There are exceptions of course but the general rule is that we rarely meet our significant other while we wait in line at the retail store.

          What's to be done than? got it. The internet. From the convenience of your home you can find your time to write an email, send a message or share a picture. In short - get to know somebody else.

          Some might say that there are many people online that are lying about themselves and posing something they're not. The same people that do that in real life - will do it online. And vice versa. Yes, it's easier to lie someone in an email than lookig them in the face, but that applies only to liars - honest people will behave the same either online or in real life.
          And we're talking now about them. People that are hoping there is someone special for them too. Just they didn't found yet that special someone. But they do have hope.
          So - we're going online.

          Online we’re much more relaxed and confident in ourselves. Being in contact – without being in physical range - we express ourselves more clearly and we speak our minds more often than not.

          Beauty and in general physical aspect comes and goes. Personality is rarely changing. If you don’t like and match someone’s personality traits – don’t even think about how hot and sexy they look. If you will insist to get into a relationship with them - you’ll get an Mylar balloon. Shiny and empty - and that will fly up and away from you the first time you let them go from your hand.

          On the other hand think of someone truly remarkable that you’ve met online. You exchanged mails and messages, pictures and comments. Think of the laughter, conversation, affinities, hobbies or preferences that you share with that stranger (that’s really a stranger - because you never met in person).

          That’s your initial encounter where you could “fall in love of the first sight” – before actually meeting them.
          Than - when you actually meet in person – the initial feeling could be reinforced by their physical aspect and by their body language and actually their live personality.

          If they have the personality you’ve expected, or if they actually are even more charming in person but they don’t look so hot as you pictured them –does it make a difference for you? Be sincere – I think it won’t matter.
          You will adjust the picture you’ve had in your head – with their actual appearance and you’ll continue to fall in love even faster.

          Actually when you meet someone in person after you’ve met them online -that’s the second time you’re around that person. You already know some of their personality and you like it.
          The likelihood to fall in love right there at your first meet in person is tenfold.

          Maybe I’m stupid but I actually think you can love at first sight, even before having the first sight.

          With that said I’d like to propose the revised definition:

          “Love at first sight” is the romantic passion for a complete stranger upon his or her initial encounter with the stranger. The encounter is not necessary to be in person and could be any form of of interaction between the two.